I'm sorry, it's really difficult to type this out, considering who reads this blog. So sorry if I put this in misunderstanding words.
Errrrgh. It's just the fact that I'm half-willing to give up some things, to be completely honest, but here's the things I'm terribly afraid of:
- Virgin blood. (sorry you needed to find that out. D:)
- What if I do give it up? Will he still care? I mean, he tells me he does and I have almost all of the trust in the world with him. But there's that little stereotypical female part of me (that I really want to kill sometimes) that's just absolutely mortified that I'll be abandoned if he gets what he wants.
What will I do when he goes to Delaware? I know it's only a state or two away, but what if I'm an easy person to forget? I've heard that once you go to college, it's like a whole other world. But I have to be alright with this, there's no way I could make him stay here. I'm only one girl that he's known for about 4 years, and he's still got a whole lifetime of success ahead of him.
Bluh, I'm starting to not make sense. I need to go lay down.
But you aren't even going out!
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