Nom nom friggidy nom, piano music. And lords of rings.

On the first note: Stage crew was actually a lot better today, I must say. It may have been an extra two hours long, but hey. Less yelling and less...hectisism? It was less hectic. Let's just put it that way, shall we? Good. Zaby is a really cool person, she and I have some things in common that I like. I give her a thumbs up.

Okay, not onto more important matters. Like pianos. And the songs that come out of them. Currently, I am addicted to anything with piano in it. Nothing else...maybe except voice. Okay...that's a lie too. Piano being the main (background if there are words included) instrument, and orchestra music isn't that bad. You all know that I'm spazzing about Narnia right now, but I'm also really digging the LOTR theme, along with Pearl Harbor, actually. That one is not bad at all. I'll also forever love Van Helsing and I'm a sad fan of Pirates. Also, songs with words in them, I'm really digging all the Stars songs with just piano, like Tonight. I learned that one by ear and I'm really proud of myself. I'm just still kind of slow on it, but I'm sure I will get better. I think I might push myself to learn more piano songs than guitar, because I dunno. Piano is just so much more attractive to me lately. I guess that means I have to give my keyboard a name now. But I think keyboards are boys and pianos are beautiful women. Because Jack is an electric guitar. So anything electric is male and anything acoustic is female. Three cheers for sexism!~

(TIME TO GO OFF-TOPIC. :D)

Actually...speaking of good ol' Lord of the Rings, I'm deciding to watch that really soon, if I can find it online because I think I left all my DVD's over my dad's house. I'm listening to the soundtrack right now, just a collab of the songs. And--WHOA! THERE'S WORDS TO THE MAIN THEME? I never knew this! Did anybody know this? My mind is blown.

Anyways, what I was going to say was how awesome Boromir was. He was (and probably will be) my favorite. Always. I don't care if he's dead and his dad set his corpse on fire. (he's also apparently Fish's uncle who sets himself on fire every family reunion. Do you see why I can't let go of him now?) But yeah. Boromir is all "I'm awesome, and I'm tempted by the ring sometimes." IT'S NOT HIS FAULT. "I also seem to be gay for Aragorn, but nobody needs to know that."

...no offense.

I feel bad for Faramir. He's in one of those situations where it's all like..."My mother doesn't exist. And my dad is an angry grump that thinks he's king. He doesn't love me. All he cares about is my glorious brother who died practically pronouncing his love for Aragorn is the most honorable way ever. Man, he's so cool...but FML." And then he secretly cuts himself a few times. Alright, but really. Denethor is SUCH a douche. These are legit movie lines. Faramir: "If I should return, think better of me, Father." Denethor: "That will depend on the manner of your return." Really? is Faramir really THAT much of a failure? It's depressing.

And then in the end, he gives Eowyn the flirty eye. You know, when he looks over at her and he looks like he would be saying "Hey, hot blond. Whatcha doin' tonight?" But in my opinion, even though I love the beautiful Liv Tyler (my favorite actress. :/) I still think that Aragorn should have gone for Eowyn instead of Arwen. Eowyn was TOTALLY head-over-heels for Aragorn and he was just like... "No. I have a gorgeous elf's life to ruin in the future. Sorry babe." I think they would've made a cute couple. D:

Now that I cone to think about it...the Ents would probably have to be tied with Boromir. "TREE?! I am no tree! Although the words 'tree' is in my name, because I'm just that rad." Ah, Treebeard. I love you. Why can't you be real? I mean, seriously. How rad would it be for trees to just wake up and walk around? Maybe then cars wouldn't have to pollute everything. Ho hum.

On one last note, I think it was Falamir who also played the monk in Van Helsing, and Dilios in 300. Yup, it's true. I loved Dilios. Still do, actually. 300 was such a great movie. Anyways, Legolas is a girl. He's....he's just SUCH a girl.

Okay, end blog. Now.

Love, Ly.~

I'm okay, right? Of course I am.

I've been thinking about so much stuff lately, and I don't think it's really all that good for me. For instance, here are the top 5 things on my mind lately:

1. Jordan, and if she'll be alright. She hasn't answered her phone in 2 days.

2. Death, just in general.

3. The future, which I'm terribly afraid of. I don't know what I want to do anymore after I get out of school.

4. Will I ever see Fish again? What if he doesn't show up at Allstate auditions?

5. I sometime think I shouldn't eat as much as I do right now. But I want to stay confident about my body.

I refuse to believe I'm depressed. I'm not depressed, no matter what the symptoms are.

- difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions (Well, I just have a bad memory in general.)

- fatigue and decreased energy (If I did, I wouldn't be able to do stage crew. So no.)

- feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness (I'm not guilty of anything, I know I have worth, and I'm certainly not helpless.)

- feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism (Pfft, pessimism?! Come on!)

- insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping (Okay, maybe I don't sleep as much as I should...)

- irritability, restlessness (...er, okay. This one can be checked.)

- loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex (uh, I never really got to experience se-- You know what? This isn't true. I still like all my activities I'm doing, not sex.)

- overeating or appetite loss (It's a bit fluctuating, but I think I eat normally. I hope I eat normally.)

- persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment (Nope, got no pains in me.)

- persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings (uh....maybe. D:)

- thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts (ABSOLUTELY NO. Suicide is the greediest thing a person can do, my dad says. And he's got a good point.)

So that's....3 out of 11. I bet that's pretty average for someone, so I'm okay. I AM OKAY. Stupid Jake Seagull...even though that was last year, still thinking about that kid pisses me off.

I really wish I had my piano here. I wanna learn a whole bunch of songs and I'm getting really good at learning by ear. Unfortunately, I'm at my mom's, my pianoless mom's. I keep telling her "Mom, maybe we should get a piano." But of course we have but not a place for a piano. I hate Audubon Park, I really do. It's too small. Everything is too small. The houses, the area, the kids are delinquents at the age of ten...ragglefraggle.

I have stage crew again today. I bet Jim is gonna tell me ALL about how he went to the Coffee Garden last night and had a great time there with everyone while I was up in Florence. I hope it's better today, and maybe there'll be a lot less slapping. (Yeah, everyone was slapping each other left and right. Craaaaazy stuff.)

I also need more juice. :/

Today is much suck. Much suck indeed.

So you know how I didn't wake up feeling happy today? Well, nothing got better. And I was scowl.

Lemme tell you how it went down. So as I was getting ready for stage crew, Hannah COMPLETELY forgot I had stage crew and called me asking if we could leave early for this parade in Atlantic City I was supposed to go to, but I told her. I said, "Hannah. I can't remember?" So she had to go without me. Disappointment. Stage crew wasn't much better either because nothing went right. At all. People weren't on time to move things and Tro wasn't all that happy. But apparently Tro's girl name is Pickle. I've failed to understand that, but I don't really think I want to.

So anyways. After my mom came to pick me up from stage crew, she decided instead of frolicking through Audubon with Jim (aka White Chocolate, that's his bitch name. Because I'm a pimp.), I have to spend the rest of the day with three little varmints that I call my cousins. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit...but they like climbing all over me. And it hurts.

So that's where I am right now, up in Florence. Okay, so maybe I shouldn't really complain right now because my uncle & aunt are pretty flippin' rich (Nerd power! :D) so they have this really sweet laptop and I'm watching Shrek 3 in Blu-Ray...which I must say the quality of this movie right now is pretty sexy. And I'm eating spaghetti. Nom nom nom.

I always liked Shrek for a few reasons. One, they picked good songs for the soundtrack. I don't mean the awesome instrumental music that plays in the background during a battle (NARNIA/LOTR FTW) I mean they used songs by Leonard Cohen, David Bowie, Bonnie Tyler, etc etc. How rad is that? I'd say very.

Oh, oh great. Now it broke. Well, at least I have you, Blogspot. Thanks for being here when I need ya.~

I woke up today.

And I saw THIS. MORE OF THIS FALLING DOWN. And man, I was so rage that I threw my pillow at my window. Please, Snow. Go away already, I'm so sick and tired of you that you make me want to SCREAM.

I already was having a bad dream that kind of mixed this book I'm reading in history with my whiny little problems. M'kay, so (SPOILERWARNINGSPOILERWARNING) in the book Fever 1793, there's a girl who lives in Philadelphia and now it's all abandoned because everyone has yellow fever. So she wakes up one day when two dudes are robbing her house. She panics, they grab her, and her REALLY old soldiery-type grandfather tries to save her by shooting them, but he misses and gets beat up and dies. But the dying part was really sad because he was all like "Matilda, I'm sorry I couldn't save you." and Matilda just starts flipping the frick out (because who wouldn't when someone you REALLY love is dying right in front of you?) And his last words were "I love you." So yeah. My dream was pretty much that except I was Matilda and guess the grandfather was eighteen, not like....eighty. And it wasn't really the grandfather....it was a fish.

Not an actual fish, some people understand and most people don't. I'm not gonna explain it here today.

So when I first woke up, I was really happy that it was all a dream, but it still made me think. Actually, I've been thinking a lot about how I would react if he ever died, and most of the times it was just me either curled up in a corner or trying to go on with everything I learned about and/or from him, because he told me that's what he would have wanted. Yes, we have talked about death before. It was a really long time ago, like a few years. But I told him that I just wouldn't know how to react and he said "Just don't cry too much." blah blah blah. Pretty much almost any person would say if they died, actually. Which makes sense.

Because who wants to be missed instead of remembered? I surely wouldn't.

Oh, Mrs. McWenchy...

So I was watching the Chronicles of Narnia (the first one, although I don’t think the second one is all that bad) at the beginning. And when they first get to the professor’s house, the uptight ol’ wench Mrs. McCreedy was just like “AY YO, KIDS. I’M IRISH SO DON’T BE TOUCHIN’ ANY OF THIS STUFF HURR. OR THAR. ISS NOT YOURS.” She was sassy in a very angry-old-woman way. I can’t even call her a lady because she’s just….she makes me SO mad for no reason.

On the other foot, Mr. Tumbles is pretty flipping amazing, if I do say so myself. I don’t know what it is about fawns, they just make me fawn over them. (LAME PUN LULZ) So don’t you be coming up to me being all “dude. Tumpkins TOTALLY tried to kidnap Lucy. He’s on the baaaad side.” No. Obviously you haven’t been paying attention to the movie. He’s obviously under peer pressure. And besides, he tends to Lucy and her needs when she’s queen at the end. And no, it’s not just because she’s got power now, it’s because he’s a good friend and he believes in A FREE NARNIA. Get it straight.

I keep forgetting Santa shows up in Narnia. And it really makes me wonder, since he’s not dressed up like the American Santa looks like, does Santa look different in other countries? And I mean real countries like Germany and Switzerland. Because I don’t think that all of the world can only believe in ONE Santa. That’s just straight-up cockamamie.

If I were to compare Narnia to Star Trek, I think Lucy would be Chekhov (the baby), Edmund would be someone like Charlie, just an angsty teenage boy that nobody loves, Peter would probably have to be Kirk because he’s the leader and whatnot (although their personalities aren’t really alike at all. :/) and Susan. Oh, Susan is Spock. Undoubted. It’s so obvious that if you don’t see it, you must be missing half your brain or something. For srs.

One last note. Narnia probably has one of the best soundtracks of all time, and it’s not just because Imogen Heap is in it. As much as I love her, it’s also the fact that I looooove nerd-magic movie music. Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Bridge to Terabithia, and my hair is falling out again….I am frown.

You dreaded white sky monsters, you...

Millions, maybe even billions of them everywhere outside. Tiny little varmints, too. They pack together until one day they’ll rise up and eat the world alive. “Ha ha, global warming. Joke’s on you.” And then another ice age will dawn upon us.

Okay, maybe I’m being a bit overly-dramatic. But being off from school today isn’t that bad, despite the fact that we’ll have to be in school in spring, which I will DEFINITELY be frown. It also sucks today that my good friend G-Froo and I won’t be able to take our trip to Walmart to buy food so we won’t starve at stage crew for our school’s play. I already have some backup food that was supposed to be for today…but obviously that’s gonna have to wait. I’m just happy that I didn’t buy any food that wouldn’t go bad in a few days because it’s still sitting in my locker. Well, maybe I’m a bit worried about that vitamin water….but not too worried. It’s not like it’s milk or anything.

Speaking of milk, my dad forgot to buy more so now we have two not-empty-yet cartons of bad milk sitting in the fridge that I don’t feel like taking care of at the moment because I’m sitting in bed with some pineapple juice and dry Rice Krispies. Man, I’m lazy. But at least I’m eating healthy. This cereal is proven to be Diabeetus friendly, which makes me happy. (Okay, so it’s spelled Diabetes on the box, but who doesn’t love Wilford Brimley? He’s beautiful!)

See? Nobody should be able to resist this face! That’s why he must sell Liberty Medical Testing Supplies, because he wants to tell the good (but few) people of America that LMTS are the BEST medical supplies, and he uses them for his Diabeetus. And he wants you to get the best care for your Diabeetus.

Okay, enough sucking up. I love him, but it’s time to move on to greater things. Like Bob Dylan who’s currently blasting out of my laptop speakers. It’s strange, because I’ve actually never really been a fan of Bob Dylan until I started picking out people whose hair I absolutely was in love with. And I found at least 4 or 5 good people. And what I mean by “glorious hair” is that kind of medium long, absolutely scraggly kind of do. I’m not sure why I love it so much, but I do. Although long super-curly hair is pretty hot as well. Anyway, so here are the people.

Bob Dylan, of course.

Syd Barrett, who is also a sex bomb

and Jim Morrison.

Those are my top 3. There’s more, but I don’t want this blog to be a million miles long, although it probably already is right now.

So. Back to Bob Dylan. After I stared at his hair for a while, I decided to give his songs a real good listening-to. And not just Like A Rolling Stone, I was never really a big listener of everyone’s most famous songs. So I downloaded a crapload of songs onto my comp and just went through them. And the songs I liked best was Hurricane and Blowin’ In the Wind, although I’m not really sure that was his original song or a cover by Mamas and the Papas, which I’ve been listening to a lot lately. Same with a lot of Woodstock bands, I just can’t deny my hippiness.

I think I’ll read Jefferson Airplane’s Wikipedia page then go practice Tonight on my piano before my dad picks me up at 5 or 6. SO I have plenty of time for daily shenanigans. And away I go.

Another day, another snowfall.

(February 26th)

Snow snow snow snow SNOW. When will it ever go away? For serious, the rain was JUST about done washing it all away and then Father Winter was all “DENIED.” And I was frown.

I was very frown.

So now I’m stuck here eating carrots and some sort of dressing that’s staining my fingertips orange. Just flipping dandy.

A Girl And her Fish, pt II.

(February 26th)

First part is right hurr: http://leiablogsalot.blogspot.com/2010/02/girl-and-her-fish-part-1-d.html

As I pushed the well-built raft against the mildly calm waves, I was glad that it wasn’t windy out that day or else the sea would’ve been rough, and I still wasn’t used to rocky seas. I hopped onto the raft once I was in deep enough waters and grabbed the oars on each side and started to row. So many thoughts rushed through my brain, especially my father. Mother always told me the grand stories of his sailing days, and how she went on trips with him out to sea to explore the magical blue world below. Oh, how she wanted to be one of those fish swimming under my father’s boat without a care in the world. That was why I gave her a proper burial in the sea, it’s what she wanted.

As I thought about Dad, I wondered if he was alright. Did he have enough food to survive? What about fresh water? Or what if he found Atlantis and was being taken care of by beautiful creatures that I have always dreamed of. What if I found him, though? How could I tell him that Mother died? He loved her so much, according to Mother. I remember one time, a glass bottle floated up to sea and held a note inside, along with a few pearls for decoration. And all the note said was,

“To my dearest,

There is no need to fret. I will be home before you know it.”

But that was years ago, and who knows where it came from? But all I knew was that someone out there was missing someone.

Just like my father’s target fish. I’ve heard stories that this legendary fish seemed to be searching for something, and would not reveal itself until it found what it was looking for. So as I would look for Dad, I would also keep an eye out for his fish. It would what he would want. Would have wanted– no.He’s not dead, my mind reminded me, and I quickly nodded to myself to never give up hope. It’s what kept my mission strong, and would keep me alive. That was the unfortunate thing about my dear mum, she just simply gave up hope. But I had to carry on for her, for I knew she would never give up on me. And even if she would give up, I couldn’t think about that or else I would meet her in the Heavens below the surface. It’s just not my time yet.

So. First official post.

(February 24th)

And right now it’s 12:13 AM and I’m mellow with some Mamas and Papas. Because hippie music is definitely thumbs up. Muhhh, I always have trouble sleeping for some reason, but I’m not really sure why. Maybe sleep just isn’t for me. I also ate about a pint of ice cream in one serving, so I’m gonna get fat pretty soon. But hey, as long as I still have my curves, I’ll be confident about my body. Body, I love you so much. Don’t ever change….as in get fat. Then I will hate you and burn off all your useless fat cells.

Hm, love. That’s such a strange topic….at least for some people like me. Sometimes you’re absolutely sure you’re in love and you’re feeling it. And you’re loving the thought of love. But the person you love is just subconsciously difficult to love. And you don’t want to blame that person for being themselves, but you lay awake at night feeling freezing without someone keeping you warm with their body heat, no matter how many blankets cover you. And then the next day comes around and you feel hollow. Like your soul just decided to take a holiday…and you know your heart DEFINITELY isn’t there because you gave it to someone OR they could’ve stolen it by surprise. (Although you pray for that not to happen because heart thieves abuse hearts, you can’t trust them with your feelings and they end up destroying you. When you actually GIVE someone your heart, they earn your trust, even if they do mess up. But you know it’s by accident, and they’ll still be there for you.) So everyone you approach are all worried about you because you look pale and your hair is messy, but you have a tiny smile on your face to assure them that you’re fine. Even though you’re obviously not.

And then you really start to wonder if they’ll ever come back. How many times do you see this person a year, anyway? As in, face-to-face, in person. No cheating with pictures or webcam shit. No. Internet dating is for freaks, I’m sorry to say. But you miss their face, and you see that face rarely because they live in a different town and they’re just on top of the mother-flipping world, right? They’re loved by everyone and society is just their right-hand man. Good choice. You go, Glen Coco. Why does this person have to be just….so perfect in your eyes? You can’t get over them, no matter how hard you try. But of course, you end up regretting trying to fall out of love because, hey. What if by some useless miracle that they actually start to love you and mean it? Even though they might have had a few false alarms in the past.

Still forgiven, right?

Oh lord, what am I rambling ON about?! I should really be getting to sleep….or at least be getting those dry clothes out of the basement before my dad yells at me. Oh well, he might be gone for work in a few hours and maybe he won’t notice. I sorta hope so. Anyways, I’m rambling.

End blog.

Love, Ly.~