Mmm, I'm happy.~

Scott Bass fills my head with Sophie B. Hawkins songs. <3

Just another night.

So apparently I didn't have that doctor's appointment until tomorrow. All they're apparently going to do is see what else they can do for me since I'm actually healing up pretty nicely. I'm finally finally FINALLY getting my good voice back after what felt like forever. I thought I was doomed. But now my hope's coming back again slowly. Right now I'm in-between typing and watching All-south videos people posted on Youtube. I should've been part of that...stupid high scale.

Yeah, he's on stage.

Yeah, he looks really cute in his lil' green & white choir robe.~

Yeah...he still sometimes sings with his head slanted sideways. XDDD

Also, random event occurring right now. So just because my stalker ex saw me in gym today, he thought it would be cool to get high tonight and text me about his....girlfriend's abusive mother? I know really weird people. Some, I'm glad to know. He's not one of them, unfortunately. It's not that he's all a bad guy, it's just that he's a pothead and he followed me everywhere and he's a big big fan of sexual innuendos. Not really for me, sorry.

I'm gonna go drink some water. It soothes my throat.

Peanut butter.

It gets really sticky sometimes. Especially inside your mouth, don't you hate that feeling?

Speaking of food, food fight. Today at school. For a few seconds, all edible Hell broke loose and then calmed back down until Coavelysaurus raged. She was SO MAD. D: But after it was done, everyone started flipping the crap out saying they were hit with some sort of condiment, and Leia was just soaking it all up in laughter. I would've laughed too if it didn't hurt to laugh. Curses, this illness...

I actually have a few battle wounds myself. Made of cheese. I didn't notice it until Sippy pointed it out and I just chuckled. I was actually hoping a little to be hit so I can remember how insane this school is and prove it. Surrounding schools seemed to be a bit jealous, but whatever. I don't see it as all a good thing, but-- lost my train of thought.

Today was a strange day. Let's just leave it there. Never in my life had I wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich worse than I do at this very moment.

Well.

My mom's scheduling a doctor's appointment for me tonight. Honestly, I really wish she wouldn't because I hate hate HATE going to the doctor's, but everyone else would probably say, "Go. You'll get better sooner, and you'll be all happy and stuff." So I better get better sooner or I'll be like...distressed or something.

Anyways, I dunno. Listening to some Rammstein right now, I haven't listened to them in the longest time, so I'll have to download some of their music onto my laptop or something.

This post's starting to get useless to me. :/

Ah, good ol' middle school.

I remembered in band was when we had all the good songs.

I just found a recent one, which is the whole point of this blog. I just wanted to let Leia know that it was called the Forge of Vulcan and it was freaking epic. Although it's not very Star Trekky, more like a volcano thing. But still. Best song ever. Besides Great Locomotive Chase.

And I figured I'd post a blog about it because I'd probably forget to tell her about the song. Forgetful me. :D

Five words.

"Pray for Sam too, please!"

You might not think that might mean a lot to me, but it does. It really does. Thank you.

Someone PLEASE get me out of here!

She agreed to sign, but that's because I had to convince her of how horrid my English class really is. If it wasn't for that, I wouldn't be going. It's the same EVERY year, twice a year. She gets all up in my face about how my grades aren't perfect, maybe failing. That's my fault. But she keeps trying to take the only thing that actually matters to me in this world. Seriously? Are you so fucking wrapped around my educational life that you don't even want to see me succeed in anything? She doesn't believe in me. Nobody believes in me. They always say, "Music is the hardest field to make a living in." So what if that's true? I've hardly had any chances to even try yet.

I'm just so mad beyond belief. I need him. I really need him. Not to talk to, really, but I just need his warmth. He's so warm that it was like he was spat out from a volcano or something. I need that really badly. Inside me just backtracked into the 2010 blizzard. It sucks. It really does, and I can't really let any of this show because I'm supposed to be happy. I feel like it's expected from me. I can't let things drag me down. Just like my dad said, "Never let people know you're feeling down."

So I guess I have to go to school, pretend everything's okay as I hack up another lung and maybe almost start to dry heave, smile through it, then get home and cry the whole time because both my throat and heart ache ever so badly. And then my voice will only get worse from there until it's just gone completely right when it's April 17th. And when I go, he won't be there. Why would he be? It's not required, and I don't mean all that much. I'm only just a childish little girl with nobody to believe in her and a false--

I'm being extremely overdramatic again. As much as the people on American Idol right now. Holy crap, lay off the vibrato. It's making your voice get off key, and frankly my dears, I frown upon you all. That includes you, America. How can you support this kind of crap? I mean, seriously. People vote more for American Idol than they do the President.

I'm having breathing problems again. Yup, that was another dry-heave moment. Time to go to sleep again.

International rock star...

That would make the day go down easy....

Nah, that's just a song. These pretzels aren't doing crap for me. They suck. Get them out of my face. I need some sort of liquid. Tea? I should make some. In the past two days, I've drank over 10 cups. I think maybe I need to get some chamomile or something because it was hard to get to sleep last night. But....I forgot what I was gonna say. My throat's being very irritating and I hate it. D:<

I swear, if my brother broke into my chocochip waffle stash....and I accidentally just spelled stash like stache. Twice. Like mustache. Man, what's wrong with me?

I need to get these papers signed. :/

When will this illness go away?! It's killing me slowly! D: And I know I whine about it a lot, but it just gets bad sometimes. Bad like the way the cats' litterbox smells right now. My mom has to fix that, it's really stanky up in here. For serious.

These waffles are slightly making the pain go away...

Man, I sound emo.

Well, I have to go take some more pills or something.

Cup of tea, cup of teaaaa....

You are green and I just coughed up something--

I'm stopping right there. You good readers....as in Leia, shouldn't need to know that.

And now I have Single Ladies stuck in my head.

I'm waiting for this tea to cool off so I can take these pills, but my tongue's still burning quite a bit. Frown.

I can't stay on one thought this morning, can I?

Ugh, that was quite horrid. Word of advice: Never take really bad-tasting pills with scalding tea. You will start to cry a bit. But I'm alright.

I really should put my shoes on...

Oh, lovely. I have the hiccups now. D:<

Murrr, I really should get ready. I have to leave in about 5-10 minutes.

I should be sleeping.

After I got home today, that's all I wanted to do. Just sleep. And drink hot tea, because I have no Vitamin C. (I lied to Mr. Trowbridge and said I drink lots of pineapple juice. I feel bad about it. D:) However, I'm trying to make that up by drinking unsweetened hot chai, which is a little bleh. But the spices are tasty. So I'm calm. Or maybe it's the bazillion cough drops I'm eating. Should I say eating? They're not really a food, more of a medicine... sooooo, yeah. I can't think of a word.

It really sucks because sometimes when I get into bad coughing fits, it feels like dry-heaving. Like I have to get that mucus out of my lungs...but it won't come out. And then my abdomen tightens up and I can't breathe and it just...it just hurts. ): Sam is much frown.

Sam is also lonely.

But that doesn't matter. Sam needs another cough drop because she accidentally chewed the last one. Chewing cough drops is like chewing pills, except cough drops don't need to be taken with water because they have to last to get the full effect. What am I, a doctor? Sheez.

So I just tried looking up this song when this one result came up about a band called Monsters of Folk. And they're pretty awesome. Don't you love when that happens? You're looking for a certain song or band and come up with something interesting that turns out to be on your new favorite band of the week or something. Ah, Youtube. Je t'aime.~ Oh, speaking of folk...I haven't listened to Flight of the Conchords in forever.

I don't think I've ever been more excited to go to sleep tonight.

Also, one last thought. My mom isn't a good singer. I wish I could scream that in her face.

I wish it was raining.

That's the only way you'll get me outside. Until tomorrow, anyway. I have to go back to school. I have to, I have to, I have to. I have to practice. I have to go April 17th. I have to make it. I have to, I have to, I have to.

Four days. Four days and I've hardly spoke more than, what? 10 words? Almost. Well, maybe a few more than that, but I've been pretty quiet these days. Too quiet, to say the least. I've just felt miserable and dead. Completely dead and my spirits need to be lightened up. And there's actually not a lot of people I can depend on to do so. Maybe 2 or 3 at the most. That's bad. I won't tell you who they are, but...

I lost my train of thought. It went into the dark tunnel of no return.

Man, my mom's laugh is annoying. Nay, irritating. She's just irritating. I don't like being around my parents that much anymore. They just make me itchy. You know that you can't talk to your parents about the things you talk about with your friends, right? I dunno, maybe it's not that. I'm just down. I'm so down that I'm negatively up.

Everything's about dreaming nowadays.

Tyra Banks said last night on the Kids Choice Awards last night that she's just SO proud of all these "fierce" girls chasing their dreams and making them real, blahblahblah.

In Fate/Stay Night, King Arthur/Saber (which is oddly a girl? o .o;;;) in the end she's blabbing on about dreaming or some crap as she dies. (spoiler alert! D:)

And, I also had a dream last night. Well....two, but the second one didn't matter to me at all. When I finally got to sleep around 1 last night, I just had this dream that I actually remember most of. This is like....the first one ever. That I remembered most of, anyway. I was in school, in Mr. Tanier's room. And for some reason, he was giving an art lesson about how to draw pigs. Lo and behold, guess who enters the room? Mhm, Scott. And he's all like, "Hey, come with me Sam." And how can I object? I forget what we say, but eventually we start laughing hysterically until we get outside, but our school is on this island. In the sky. So we just sit on the edge with our legs hanging off the side and we just kinda sit there looking out. And just as I lean my head on his shoulder, I wake up. Of course.

Errgh. I can't blame myself for having one of those dreams again. I've been having one of those weekends, you know? Just...one of those bunch of days where you feel all empty inside and there's nothing to really fill the void because you know there's nothing you can do. Obviously you can't make an attempt to find him because you've got the flu and you're over your mom's house, which is farther away from your escape route. Not to say that I want to run away or something, but just to say if....you know what? Nevermind. My speech is slowly becoming more and more terrible by the day.

Onto a different subject. So I just got done watching all of Fate/Stay Night. A few things about it.

1. The main character, Shirou, is a COMPLETE waste of time. I absolutely hate him. Yes, he's trying to be one of those "world's martyrs" and help everyone he can, but really. He's too sappy and annoying, saying "SABER!" every 5 seconds. I mean, just shut up already.
2. Most of the servants are actually pretty awesome. At least in the English sub version, anyway. As much as I love Archer (the original, not Girugamesh xD), his English voice is just REALLY annoying. Much better in Japanese form. Archer is sexy either way, though.
3. If I ever go to an anime con again, I'm definitely going as Tosaka-san. She seems sassy enough and her costume is really easy.
4. I hate hate HATE how at the end (spoiler warning again) as Saber returns to her own realm at the end, the last thing she HAD to say to Shirou is "I love you". I'd rather they just forget each other.

For some reason, I'm just really starting to get sick of love right now. Yes, it's happened to me before, so maybe I'll get over it again. But right now...it's just something that storytellers spread around the world and convince children that maybe it'll happen to them one day.

Alright, maybe that's a little harsh. But that's how it was way long ago, right? Like, back in the day where arranged marriages were common? I don't know. I just don't see as much love in the world right now. With the war going on and divorces growing more common by the day and suicide rates and abuse and just...not being loved back? Nah, I don't want to blame it on that. It's my fault.

I don't feel all that well. D:

99.5

Three cheers for making progress.

However, I've still got that inability to sing as well as I normally do, which is majorly pissing me off. How many days do I have left? 2 days? Maybe 21? I know this seems like a lot of time, but it's extremely difficult to perfect a voice. Nay, I might even say it's impossible. There's always something to improve, and I probably have to start over again. Not completely, but when I speak, I sound so hoarse and disgusting that it makes me want to throw up a little.

Alright, enough with the dramatics. It's Leonard Nimoy's birthday, there should be no need for sourness. Not one bit. Right now, I wish I had some paper mastuff (however you spell it. D:) because I have the biggest urge to make Vulcan ears or something in celebration on this happy day. But I'll probably end up doing nothing because my big, fluffy blanket's finally being washed and right now I'm kinda freezing. Let's just hope that the cat hair came off of it. [/angry glare at the kitty, who is lying at the foot of my bed as usual]

I can see that my ADHD's coming back. Three cheers for not staying on topic. :D

So. Last night I watched this movie about the original rave baby or something. Michael Alig. At first, I didn't know that he was (or is, he might still be alive) real, until I remembered the movie was based on a true story. (This movie is called Party Monster, by the way. I wouldn't suggest it to you if you don't like drug stories. Killer soundtrack, though. Very techno-y.) And yeah, it was interesting. And colorful. And weird. And COLORFUL. And...slightly violent? Yeah, Angel got killed. (SPOILER ALERT! Sorry. D:)

Ooh, and also I tried talking to Scott while I was watching the movie. He didn't seem very talkative, though. It made me frown a little, but he might have also been at work or something. Where he works? Beats me. But I'd rather not stalk him and find out. That would just be taking it beyond creepy. Again. (Yeah, I've been there before. Please don't ask, it's in the past and I'm trying to better myself. I'm not an obsessive freak....anymore, I swear!) But yeah. I...really have nothing else to say. I got two more free days to recover and just chill out. Good news is, I don't have to take anymore Mucinex DM, which DOES NOT WORK, by the way. Just in case any of you were thinking about using it to break up lung phlegm. Don't. It's useless.

Alright, for serious. Time to go see if my blanket's dry. Then I will curl up in it and roll around a clean floor in its dryer warmth. Mmmm, I'll be a fluffy, disease-stricken caterpillar. :D

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

I wish I could watch the movie....bluh.

So I just got done watching Mirror, Mirror and to my surprise (and annoyance) the alternate members are all Nazis. Just my luck, right? THEY WOULDN'T STOP DOING THE SALUTE. D:<

Anyways, now I'm onto Friday's Child. It's weird and there's Klingin's involved. And I will say Klingin' instead of Klingon because I like talking in a Scottish accent. Ah, Scotty. He's my love. Speaking of love, looks like that pregnant chick has a thing for McCoy. And the weirdly-dressed people came tumbling down after being trampled with falling rocks. Not a bad episode.

SPOCK JUST SAID WOODER. SPOCK JUST SAID WOODER! He's got the South Jersey dialect! Aaaaand now it seems that McCoy impregnated the sassy chick with touching problems? Not really, but she's just messed up. Stupid pregnant sassy chicks...

Klingin' fight time? Maybe. And you'll never guess who's in charge of the ship right now. You got it, SCOTTY! :D He's gonna kick some Klingin' butt. Hopefully. I'll be cheering for him.

Okay, maybe not. But Spock just had one of his man-I'm-funny-without-knowing-it moments. "Hoogie woogie koochie goo?" As in wondering why McCoy was saying that to the grumpy baby. Seriously. It has SUCH a grump face. Stupid babies.

Episode's over. It ended with McCoy naming the baby Leonard James and Spock was all, "So I guess y'all will be pleased witcherselves for a month now, hm?" Sassy little Vulcan. Anyways. Time to search for the one with Pike. For some reason, I really REALLY wanna watch that one badly.

101.1

That's my body temperature. Still. Fevers, puh.

Anyways, I'm taking the day off tomorrow. Good news is, no school and no Madame Parker and no more forcing myself to walk around with a dead back and phlegmy lungs. Bad news is, no choir or Allstate practice or Bible Club. And I'll probably have to make up a crapload of quizzes and tests and stuff. Boo.

Well, since I got home, I took a quick nap and then I just watched Whose Line Is It Anyway clips for the rest of the day. Man, I wish they would still make this show. I mean, seriously. Colin Mochrie and Ryan Stiles are probably one of the funniest comedy pairs. Ever. And Wayne Brady's funny too, although he's mostly the music dude. I also like the episodes with Greg Proops (Yes, the president from True Jackson, VP. This is where he got started.) because he's got that slight hint of gay to him. And it's just comical in a good way. No offense, I swear.

But anyway. For tomorrow's agenda, I'm gonna jam pack it with Star Trek. Haven't watched that show in a while and I think I need to catch up on a few episodes. I need to find that one where Kirk does the "Roman" (although we all know it's a Nazi) salute. And some other ones from Star Trek Meets Monty Python. (Someone just took the Knights of the Round Table and put it to Star Trek clips. Don't get excited.) Actually, I really wish I had Flying Circus on DVD now. Because I would watch that too.

I wish I had some pineapple juice.

Rarararar, kitty on my leg. It feels awwwwwkwarrrrrrd......I wonder where that fancy black hobo on the bicycle rode off to...

Grimble Grumble.

Grimble Grumble was a gnome. He wore a scarlet tunic and a blue-green hood. He liked adventures in the grass. He ate, slept, and drank his wine.

Or, this was according to Pink Floyd anyway. I think Floyd is a cool guy's name. If I were to name a child, it might be Floyd.

So yeah, I'm back on my slight obsession with the Misfits. Okay, it's not really an obsession. It's a newfound infatuation, I'll call it. I like them because of their music (at least Michale Graves, anyway) and the fact that they don't really make any arguments against religion or anything. They're just a legendary punk band all for the love of the punk. I'm also kind of getting into Atreyu as well, and I can't type out their name for my life.

Atruey? Atryue? Ateryu? Tyeuar? Stupid fingers.... D:<

Collarbone, you bother me quite a lot right now. I wish you would cut that out.

Dear body, please get better by April 17th. Maybe even before that, I'm not even close to being ready for the auditions yet. Rrrrrrr, Pitman broadway. I'm hoping for the best, darling.

You know that feeling when you're in your room in the dark, and you're just kinda sitting in front of your keyboard typing out useless words, and the space around you just feels kind of cold and empty? And your cat sleeping at the corner of your bed isn't helping at all because for some reason, shes just being irritating. Just by being a cat and not the person you long to be with?

That'd be kind of funny, if he was sleeping at the corner of my bed. I don't think he'd fit in just one corner, though. Aw, man. If he was ever over my house.

I dunno, I don't want to go to band tomorrow. Like, I'm even thinking of skipping a day. I'll probably end up going anyway, but if it wasn't for Cute Eyed Kevin sitting next to me and Leia and Sippy and Becky and Muffin, I would just never go. Ever. I'm so glad I'm not doing it next year. Choir for the wins!~

THROAT. I HATE YOU SEVERELY.

Printer....I am disappoint.

So, I've been trying to connect my printer with my laptop for the past, what? Hour? And yet, my printer's all like, "Nah, I don't feel like workin'. Sucks for you. :B"

And I was rage.

Leia's working on the altered book right now, which I'm very elated that we're finally starting on already. All I know is, by the time that we're done making it, the world will just be in awe. World, you will literally be all, "I SENSE THAT THERE IS NOW A BOOK IN THE WORLD. AN ALTERED BOOK SO GREAT, I THINK I PROBABLY JUST SHARTED."

So yeah. She drew Edward Curren, which is hilarious, by the way. Ah, the elation. The sweet, joyous elation. I just wish my flipping printer would work so I could print out pictures for...usage of the book and stuff. Le sigh, I'll have to get my dad to configure things and whatnot.

Leia just made a really good point. WHY THE CRAP DOES EDWARD CULLEN DRIVE A CAR WHEN HE CAN APPARENTLY MOVE FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF LIGHT. Come on, Stephenie Meyer. Are you really THAT made of fail?

Okay. Now it's like....4 hours later. Major timeskip. I give up. Completely. Bluh.

Not everyone can be a leader.

People claim they're leaders, right? Well, those people need to lead other people. Some people in the world just can't take charge of some situations because they're just not meant to.

Take me, for example. I try to do all I can for certain people, and I mean REALLY try. But some things my mind just can't stand up to and it drives me crazy. Then I can't admit to them that I'm unable to just do it and I start to feel absolutely terrible about it because then I feel like it just ruins all my chances in the world to be the one.

Seriously. I'm a freaking sheep. Just a feeble, fluffy creature who grazes around in a field all day and gets rounded up and protected by a big, strong Old English sheep dog so I won't be eaten up by the wolves that run wildly in the nearby forest. I can't lead. My mind is weak and malleable so I believe things too easily.

Maybe I'm making this too dramatic. Point blank, I'm just straight-up not a leader. And I apologize greatly if I'm not perfect. Maybe this is why you don't love me, and I can't be any more sorry.

Bumblebee tuna.

So. The past 30 minutes just kinda sucked.

I was over Gracem's with Dan and Gracem's sister watching the Mighty Boosh when I called up my dad to come pick me up. I felt kinda bad because it's late at night and I know he should've been asleep by this time especially with his cold and everything. But he says he'll come to get me anyway.

And this is where it gets bad. He drives past her house because he's claiming he can't see anything so he's like, half-blind and driving. Why? Maybe I should have walked home instead. So after about 5 minutes of getting yelled at, he finally finds me like, halfway home and he's just got this vibe coming off of him that's screaming, "You should be sleeping outside tonight. Stupid girl."

Or at least that's what I was thinking.

So we get home and he goes to bed, so I just kinda keep my tail between my legs and scurry off to my room. Now this part sort of pisses me off. I get on Facebook and see that Steph posted up our pictures. However. Becky commented on one, and it just made me rage. It made me SO rage. This is her exact quote:

"i feel so loved...."

I MEAN REALLY. Does every fucking time I go outside have to be with you, Becky? I understand that apparently all your old friends are apparently sour towards you even though it's actually you being paranoid, but hey. Look on the bright side. You can just go back to ignoring everyone else and be with your boyfriend. I mean, tell me if I'm being harsh but come on. You try to hang out with me, you come over and tell me I never make an effort to hang out with you. And every time I do, you always have an excuse not to hang out.

Seriously?

And one more thing. Stop assuming someone's my best friend when I just so happen to glance in their general direction. It's really annoying. I understand Leia, since we're conjoined twins, but I'm NOT even slightly good friends with Sam Arcaini, Roger, or Carl. Rrrrrgh.

I got so rage, I deleted my Facebook. I can't deal with this anymore.

'Cuz I'm leeeeaaaaavin' on a Dan Noe....

Ah, today was a good day. At least the after-school part sure was.

You see, that's why I love the people I know. They're just so much win And I don't know what I'd do without them. 'Specially Jonesy/Leiums. Literally, she would just be me if I believed in God.

Which actually reminds me to read up on Buddhism a smidgen. That and Christianity are my two main focuses right now, but Christianity since that's kind of the main belief of the world right now. Lots to cover, lots of Bible to read. Just which version? Hum.

So I'm chilling here with some Mamas and Papas, because I'm feeling chill right now. Ultra chill. And for once, I don't mean that ki--

HOLY CRAP, CAT. WHEN DID YOU GET THERE. YOU JUST LITERALLY SCARED THE SQUEAK OUT OF ME. NEVER DO THAT AGAIN OR I WILL NUDGE YOU GENTLY OFF MY BED.

Anyways. I don't mean that kind of chill like...icy death shiver chill. I mean peaceful and relaxed. Ah, le printemps. Je t'aime.~

nuh nuh nuh nuh.....norwegian wood.

or should I say norNIgian wood? :D

Hi, I'm Alyse the Amateur Philosopher.

My mind's been so outta wack lately, I can't remember anything until the very last second I need to be reminded of it.

But also, I go into deep thought about like, everything. In school, I'll just zone out and start thinking about even things that don't make sense. And even though that's kinda what I do normally in life, it's just I try to find out the true meaning of it. Like, there's a song called the Silver Swan which is pretty depressing, but I just found myself thinking today.

Do silver swans lay golden eggs?

You know, golden eggs. Like in the old Jack and the Beanstalk tale (as I recall...) or the original Willy Wonka movie.

Or how mermaids come to be. That came out of after I wrote my emo poem in the joint blog. And I quote,

My life as a human is now over, but my life as a mermaid has just begun. And soon, my eyes will open once more when I am ready for this new world.

Yes. I was referring to mermaids, I see now. And I just thought. Hm. This is really odd. Is this really how mermaids come about, like a new form of evolution or something? Well then.

Now I'm just sitting here listening to Lauren O'Connell, who actually happens to remind me a crap load of Heather. So I have to recommend Lauren O'Connell to her now, because she's got some pretty nice songs and everything. M'kay, I guess that's it. :/

Hrrdrrrddrdrr

My back. It has the itchy.

So. I'm home after a wonderful day at the Treehouse, spent with Leiums. We made a short story and saw a muffin there and drank milkshakes and ate hummus. Ah, hummus. Much better than haggis. Haggis is made of my own kin, and that makes me frown.

I was also walking home when I realized that my awesome army bandanna was missing, but it was too late to go back and try to find it since I was sort of on a time schedule. See, I never told my mom I was going on an adventure today and she would be home at 7, so I needed to at least be home a half hour before her just for precautions. Because I'm just that sneaky.

So yeah. I'm here sitting and practicing Turtle Dove again, because that song is just so awesome. It's just, this song is my love. I don't know why. I like to sing it a lot and I'm glad it's part of my audition. I welcome it with open arms. <3

Actually, I have just enough time to listen to my favorite Eric Whitacre song, which is in its best version. Because if my mom came home and heard me singing this, she'd shun me. As in just never look in my direction again. Well, maybe I wouldn't mind that sometimes...but who else is gonna cook my dinner?

Oh yeah. My dad. Maybe I should go on with this plan.

Ah. Speaking of my mom. I now have to say goodbye to my fancy ensemble (which consists of my monocle and shirt with a FREE MUSTACHE. D:) money because apparently I owe her $50 for some unknown reason. I am epic frown.

So now I'm out of money AND bandannas. If it wasn't for Leia making my day, I'd be emo right now.

For the love of Great Britain, Mother!

It's just ice cream! You sound fat when you hog it and yell at me for taking a bite or two.

And then you steal MY sherbet's spot.

I think it's a proper time to call you a wench. I'm sorry.

Me saying WENCH! is the same as Monty Python knights shouting NI!

Just to get that straight.

Just a-copyin' offa Leia.

So. I read Leia's last blog post about her first liking Dave. Or at least when she found that out, and it just kinda made my soul do a little happy dance. Those two are like...the cutest people ever and they deserve to be together. For serious.

Anyways, her blog reminded me of the time I made it to All South. That one, very unforgettable time. (Maybe if I focused more on actually getting in rather than just getting it all overwith and rushing to go see everyone else who finished...cough...)

Anyways. So it was, what? The second rehearsal? Yeah, probably. So I was sitting all awkwardly between Sarah Cox and some other Audubon chick. I forgot who, but then I saw this guy walk in and he was all limpy, so I give him sort of a sympathetic face when he wasn't looking and then got over it. But of course being little awkward 13-year-old me, the student teacher person there in the front pointed ME out and told ME to move up in lack of people sitting up front.

Since there was pretty much one chair open next to the boy who limped, naturally I took that chair and kept my mouth shut besides singing. And so this guy next to me was talking to his best friend and being all...awesome and stuff. I glanced at him occasionally without him noticing and just thought, Man. His life must be good. Not saying my life was bad then, just kind of meaningless and boring.

Anyways. It wasn't until we started working on my favorite song, which was a sea chantey, when we came upon this one part talking about a pirate ship apparently called "scuppers". Trying to be cool, I asked what they were out loud, which actually made me sound stupid instead. However, this boy with a limp apparently knew everything and turned to the other side to look me in the eyes and tried to tell me.

Of course, I wasn't paying attention to his words. Once we made eye contact, it was like, BAM. Who are you and where have you been all my life? Sure, it wasn't love at first sight, but something inside me went nuts. But when he was done talking, I just kinda thanked him and I felt more comfortable glancing over at him more often.

But during our break, he offered me to sit with him, and how could I refuse? So we sat down and he introduced himself. "My name's Scott." he said.
And then we shook hands. Even back then, he had really soft hands. I liked that. I liked it so much I almost forgot to say "I'm Sam. but I hate my name."
And he laughed, introduced me to his best friend Richard, and that was the beginning of a very interesting, neverending journey.






Oh yeah, and I actually just looked up scuppers. This is what it is:

A scupper is an opening in the side walls of an open-air structure, for purposes of draining water. They are usually placed at or near ground level, and allow rain or liquids to flow off of the side of the open-air structure, instead of pooling within the walls.

Delicious

Actually, I'm not being fat for once and eating twice my body weight. In fact, I kind of have a bad taste in my mouth. Bleckh.

Anyways....I forgot what I was going to say. I think I'm slightly attached to these gloves, but whatever. It's not like I wear them every moment of my life now. They get in the way sometimes. Oh well, gloves. You're still nice. You look cool when I'm typing. Not sure why, but you just do....

Oh yeah! I'm over-elated that I'm doing a poem joint-blog thing with Leia now. It's extra super fun.

Speaking of Leia, I finally hung her Madame Miffletop picture up on my wall and must I say. It's absolutely radiant. I mean she does. I do? Close enough, I guess. Point is, the picture is wonderful. And I want a dress like hers, since it is the only dress that is, in fact, shmancy AND fancy. IN THAT ORDER.

I guess that's all for the morning blog. I've got the shivers again.

Dear rainbow sherbet, I love you.

Because I'm obese.

Well, at least my laundry's finally getting done. My clothes have needed a good washin' for quite some time now.

Of course, none of you needed to know that. I'm so awkward. :D

So yeah. I'm sitting here with a bowl of rainbow sherbet because I needed something frozen and fruity, and lo and behold. Sherbet in the freezer. Lucky me.~

Of course, Neapolitan Soup can't be beat, but the time does NOT call for Neapolitan Soup. Yet.

I think this post is pretty much pointless. Not much to really discuss here, besides me having a Knight. A Knight who Says NI! Did I ever mention that before? Yeah, I went to a Monster-con and they had nifty Monty Python things there, and he was just calling out to me. They also had a tiny Doctor Octogonapus action figure thing, but I was like, "Hun, y'all can't shoop yo' woop. Get outta mah face."

Yes, I was a sassy fat black woman. That was a very necessary time for it, especially since there were no other sassy fat black women around. And I felt not racist.

There were also some colorful dreadlock pigtail extension thingies that looked SO awesome (or at least they would've looked awesome if they weren't $75. D:) I wanted them, but nah. Some other time when I win the lottery or something.

One more thing. I might be getting a REAL monocle. And if I'm lucky, I can get an awesome shirt THAT COMES WITH A FREE MUSTACHE. FREE. IS THAT WIN OR IS THAT WIN? So minus a sexy top hat, I would be the fanciest person in ALL of New Jersey. And everyone will be like, "Aw, man. Just look at the level of fanciness! I surely just can't handle LOOKING in her general direction! I'm not WORTHY to look at anything SO FANCY!"

And I will be made of win. So. MUCH. Win.

M'kay, that's pretty much it.

Le sigh, shivershiver.

So it's obvious I'm in love. However, I'm in love with an eighteen year old. And sometimes, it gets difficult, since you know they have their wants. Of course I have my fears and he knows that.

I'm sorry, it's really difficult to type this out, considering who reads this blog. So sorry if I put this in misunderstanding words.

Errrrgh. It's just the fact that I'm half-willing to give up some things, to be completely honest, but here's the things I'm terribly afraid of:

• Virgin blood. (sorry you needed to find that out. D:)
• What if I do give it up? Will he still care? I mean, he tells me he does and I have almost all of the trust in the world with him. But there's that little stereotypical female part of me (that I really want to kill sometimes) that's just absolutely mortified that I'll be abandoned if he gets what he wants.

What will I do when he goes to Delaware? I know it's only a state or two away, but what if I'm an easy person to forget? I've heard that once you go to college, it's like a whole other world. But I have to be alright with this, there's no way I could make him stay here. I'm only one girl that he's known for about 4 years, and he's still got a whole lifetime of success ahead of him.

Bluh, I'm starting to not make sense. I need to go lay down.

Alright, s'about time I say something.

Temptation is bad.

It's probably really bad.

Will I be weak and give into it?

I've got that dizzy feeling.

How odd.

So I woke up this morning realizing I forgot to set my alarm. Even though I was about 10-15 minutes late getting up, it was a lot easier to just not grumble and go back to bed. Like, I just sat up and I was just all, "m'kay world. I'm awake now." Weird, right?

Right now, I'm boiling some water to make m'self a god ol' cuppa tea. And I think I'm using my Scottish accent in typing again, so don't mind me. I should really be making my bed right now. It's Friday, right? I have to go to my mom's today. >m<

Okay, I'm just typing this blog up now in between things.

I just made my bed,

I just brushed my teeth. (ELECTRIC DAVY JONES TOOTHBRUSH, HELLZ YAH)

Oh look, I can see my floor again! :D

Whoops, water's hot enough now.

Time to do a little dance.

M'kay, outfit's changed. Ready for school....minus shoes.

Time to dance to some Verka Seduchka!~ Man, I'm busy this morning. And I have a few minutes left to spare. I'm goooooood. Okay readers, which is probably just Leia, I'll see you at school. Time for some Allstate practice! :D

When the ocean met the sky.

That title has absolutely nothing to do with the title. I'm just listening to some good ol' Modest Mouse and that was just the song line that I was listening to as I was typing the title, since I didn't really know what else to say. xD You go, Glen Coco.

Anyways, I just got back from some school things that made me think again, although I guess I'll have to save the questions for a different time with people that can hopefully say the right things. I dunno, I just don't feel like I'm not all that worthy enough to talk to God. I don't want any comments on it, just...my state of mind. I'm only a hippie that studies beliefs and I refuse to take any sides. Okay, let's just get this. I believe in peace. Enough said.

So. Different topic. I was a-readin' through Leia's posts and I found it a little funny mentioning Scott and the whole fish ordeal. And the only reason I created that whole nickname thing is because I'm actually one of those really shy (and slightly paranoid) lovers who always kind of would put him before anything in the world, and then feel kind of bad about because what if he gets freaked out? And then I would be all...I can't say his name because my whole body just flips whenever I hear that name. I don't know what to dooooo.

Of course, that was in the past. Actually, I believe this is one of the reasons he can't exactly love me because I'm this way. And I've gotten better, in my opinion ever since 7th grade, but hey. I can't force him to love me as I keep ranting on about. I'm just here for whatever he needs me for. And I'm always happy to oblige him. Oop, there I go smiling again.

Chinese food.

Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?

Or however the poop you spell his name. The baseball player dude who was mentioned in Mrs. Robinson.

So. I just had brinner. I think the ending of my day is just massive glory. I should get more orders to have a good day more often. Of course, there's no good day compared to a day just being in the presence of Scott Bass. Doesn't matter if you're me or a random stranger. He even made friends ON STAGE, right before me. He's just...I can't go on about how awesome he is. He's the (although I really REALLY hate The Notebook) Noah to my Allie, the Spock to my Uhura (minus his homeland imploding and all), the Thomas Jefferson to my Sally Hemming? Too scandalous? Maybe. :/

Nah, I can't put Noah and Allie down as one. Noah loved Allie. But as I explained before to Jonesy, I don't mind if he doesn't love me or not, and that's what gets on my nerves. Anyone I let my estrogen-related problems to just keep telling me "COME ON. HE SHOULD LOVE YOU. IF HE DOESN'T, HE'S A WASTE OF TIME." I mean, really? Is it written in the Fifteen Commandments* that a guy HAS to fall in love with a girl if she falls in love with him first? If it is, then I'm glad that tablet broke and was forgotten about. Seriously, I'm not looking for love. All I want is to not be forgotten. And I hope I'm not considering some things.

Anyways, enough ranting. I've had the worst craving for pancakes in the longest time. And guess what? Pancakes for dinner! Sometimes, I feel like I send brain channels to people and things just happen that make me smile. Which also reminds me, IRISH MUSIC TOMORROW NIGHT. IN A CIRCLE. Plus Junior Grant. It's weird that he's god friends with my cousin's fiancé's sister. Or at least he went to some wedding involving them. Bleh. All I know is that he knows Charis Low quite well.

I believe it's time for me to take a shower. But first, Carl Anderson, the only reason I still watch JCS. Which stands for Jesus Christ Superstar. I'm slowly starting to hate Andrew Lloyd Weber, though....

*the Fifteen Commandments refers to the one scene in History of the World, in case nobody knew. :D

I'm alive!

And maybe I should stop making up such ridiculous stories to Junior Grant, because he believes a lot of stuff I say. For example:

1. I'm blind in one eye
2. My parents were killed by Nazis
3. I was once attacked by a squirrel in my childhood

Obviously, none of that's true, which I had to explain to him. I just couldn't go leading him on, it would just be a cruel trick of nature. And this is also why I know why he is an honest man and I know right now he is investigating a hut in a forest in Millville made of mud and twigs, most likely made by a homeless man. Because he said that there were clothes hanging outside and everything.

Scat Tractor was resurrected as well today, and it made me happy. I was just in French, and all of a sudden Scat Tractor popped out of nowhere and was all, "Hey, remember me? Rooba dooba rooba dooba!" And I did the excited face rub.

So right now, I'm just chillin' here in bed with my laptop as I normally am, but I'm listening to Simon & Garfunkel. I don't know what it is about them, but I just love their music right now. Some songs are depressing, like the Sound of Silence, but Hazy Shade of Winter is really catchy. So is Cecilia and I Am A Rock. And now I have an urge to watch Flight of the Conchords....

NAKED HELICOPTER OPERATED BY BABIES! Insta-day-maker, to say the least. My mission surely has been accomplished. Thank you so much, Scott.

I seriously think.

That maybe someone should make a WWII musical made of Vera Lynn songs. Because I'm addicted to her right now. Again. I'm shocked that she's still alive, too...although she's not as pretty as she used to be. (No offense Miss Lynn. D: ) But hey. Most old people don't age all that well. Although Deforest Kelley wasn't all that bad.

And then he died, of course. All my favorites from Star Trek did. D:

Oh boy, I love....Swedish pop techno, I guess I can call this.

I dunno, I just wanted to state that there should be that kind of musical out there. Maybe I'll compose it one day. Kiss me goodnight, sergeant major....tuck me in my little wooden beeeeed.~

MY PREDICTIONS HAVE COME TRUE. AM I PSYCHIC?

First thing's first. I am not a child anymore. I will NOT use codenames to talk about people, so no more of this fishy business. I will not do surveys anymore about how much I miss him or how I can't catch the "fish" I want. NO MORE. I will only speak his name when necessary, and hopefully Scott won't ever find out that I talk about him more than I probably should. It's very unhealthy. Well...at least he can't read all this. I hope. Bluuuuhhhhhh, I'm paranoid.

So. Post title explanation. Okay, ever since....maybe even October, (I know November for sure) I've realized (and was insanely happy) to realize that I've gone from seeing Scott from at least twice a year to once a month. That's like.....6 times better than ever. There was All-South auditions in November, there might have been a time in October...not quite sure, December was Winter Ball, January was when he came to his dad's house, February was the All-South concert, and now it's March, where he showed up out of nowhere and invaded our school's Narnia, as I now call the costume room in the back of the auditorium. Stupid stupid Trow had to be mean though and was all like, "No. You're fat, these pants won't fit you." And then Scott was all, "I am frown." Then I was, "d00d. not cool. *hugglehugglehuggle*"

I could say there was a lot of scandalous hugging. And I mean those hugs where it's all, "Please don't let go, you smell too good." kind of hugs. I think Trow was gettin' a little suspicious and so were those 3 other girls from his school, but hey. I gave Scott a Trow dollar and he was smile. And so I was smile.

You know when you hug someone for so long that their smell wears off on your jacket? Yeah, I'm honest to JK Rowling not sniffing it obsessively, but it did wear off. And I am more smile. Actually, it was funny because when I started to walk home, I was walkin' near where the Audubon Lake meet Kings Highway and all of a sudden I see him and this bug-eyed girl running like crazy to put their school musical's sign in front of ours. I was giggle. I was MUCH MUCH giggle. Well, for two reasons. One, because well...the plain reason of putting one advertisement in front of the other and two, they're doing White Christmas. In like....May.

You see why I love him so much now?

Anyways...my cat is sitting on me again, and I think my dad will not be disappoint when he gets home. I cleaned up the house a smidgen in celebration of my good mood.~ And now I'm out of things to.-- WHOA. This squirrel came out of nowhere and just clung onto my window screen and ninja jumped onto a branch. Today is just....it's win. SO much win.

I have no idea what to say. :/

I think I might get myself a bowl of cereal. Actually, that sounds like a pretty good idea, once I really get thinking about it.

Have I ever talked about the cereal Life before? I might have, but it still makes me laugh to think of the funny little puns and poetic things you can think of while eating it. Life. Just think about it. Isn't it awesome, in a way? Or am I getting over-dramatic about it? I might be. Meh, whatever.

Anyways. I can finally open my window, and it feels like it's been forever. My cat is sure happy, just sittin' all happy-like in the windowsill. My spirits may finally brighten once more in the joyous coming of spring. Spring spring spring spring! When's the official date for it again? I can't really remember and I'm too lazy to look it up on some calendar or whatever.

I feel like everything is just gonna get better from here. Well, at least temperature-wise. The spring days will be the perfect weather and I'll take nice walks around and then summer will come along and the night weather will be fantastic. I mean, who doesn't love a hot summer night? Aaaaaaaaaand....not I've got a song stuck in my head. Thanks a lot, Meat Loaf.

I think I'll start working on a second chapter now. Berb.

Delicious.

I made an awesome dinner tonight. Well, half of it. I made the rotini and my dad made meatballs. Deeeeeeelish.

Remind me never to say that again.

And now I have the hiccups. Wonderful.

So I was taking a walk around yesterday goin' to Gracem's and it was awesome. It was just so glorious to feel warm weather again, even though everything was still sort of dead-looking. The grass was all yellowy and there were small chunks of dirty snow in various places. And then I started thinking of this poem, or at least poem segments. And I didn't want to forget anything, so I'll leave it here:

It's been a while since I've seen the sun. I took a step outside to day and breathed in air that wasn't as bitterly cold as usual. The oxygen was much denser. I could feel it in my lungs. Everything just seemed so much brighter as I walked. I didn't mind the sun in my eyes for once, since it had been such a long, deathly winter. The grass around me had certainly taken its toll from being trapped underneath heavy comforters of snow, shielded away from its life support for so long. But I knew that soon, the luscious green color would return again before I knew it. As I looked back up, I noticed that the thin, scraggly branches of the trees already started to sprout tiny buds of all different shades of red, pink, and orange. Spring is coming, finally.

That's all I really have so far, though I doubt I'll think about anything more to put in there. I'm not really much of a poet. :/

I'm always cold after the next morning.

Such a shame. I was on the phone with Fish for a pretty long time last night...and I kinda feel bad because he was still awake at 2 and a half AM when he had some kind of concert thing to do today. I hope he does good in whatever concert he's doing. But it was nice to come in contact with him again. He was all like, "Hay bb. I miss you and stuffs." Except it was kinda more romantic like that. And I was all, "okay self, just don't say the 'L' word. it's not appropriate for times like this." And we talked about all that kinda stuff, how lonely I was without him blah blah blah.

I refuse to believe he's toying with my head. I think I can truly think that I cross his mind every once in a while. It might give me false hopes, but whatever. I haven't been forgotten, and I hope I never do. Those are some of the things I kind of fear after he graduates, because I know he has future plans. He has to, he's not a run-down mess like me that doesn't know what to do after school anymore. I've had a few options, but I'm still not sure. Anyways, he'll be off being all successful and he'll meet other people, and he'll join really elite things that won't leave enough time to remember me.

I guess this is why I feel like Eponine so much. She was best friends with Marius, and he never knew her true feelings for him because he was metaphorically blind. (Although Scott definitely knows my feelings. I probably said it too much in the past, it's a wonder we're still as good friends as we are right now.) But once Marius just GLANCES over at Cosette, BAM. Eponine lost him right then and there. And then Marius FINALLY realizes how much Eponine loves him RIGHT when she's dying. And he's like, "Man, I coulda had this in my hands. I will dedicate my fighting to her." Thanks for the nice gesture, Marius. But is that gonna bring her back? No.

So yeah. After he went to sleep, I kinda couldn't fall asleep easily, so I just stared up at my awesome ceiling fan. I couldn't say that I wasn't smiling a bit, because I certainly was. I think I can finally weather watching Gravis / Beckas for one more night. Because (as weird as this might sound) he'll be there in spirit. That's what he always used to tell me. And I kind of have a feeling that I won't be so cold tonight. Actually, Beckas doesn't make me mad that much, although the do cuddle up quite a lot. They're just not sitting in emo corners scowling at everyone. Still, I'm just a picky priss sometimes. Tonight, however, I'll feel much better. I can just feel it.

Maybe I'll go on a little walk today or something. It's true I'm feeling a terrible chill right now, but it might be healthy for me. I haven't seen the sun in God knows how long.

D00D. LEIA'S RIGHT HURR

Hurrdrrdrrdrrdrr. She was a-talkin' her layzah, but then Davedavedavedave hung up. And I sat on a squeaky elephant. I CANNOT TYPE. LAYING DOWN LIKE DIS.

Leia says: "Tell them that I am....I dunno."

Now she's taking pictures and whatnot. One picture, she looks like a lazy-eyed Asian person. Win? I'd say so.

I was just awkwardly a-takin' mah sojthiuerhsli5whitoje5stjhiore.

I meant shoes.

Off.

I was awkwardly taking my shoes off. And she was taking awkward pictures of me, which I will post later. For now, off with some jollyness and joy. Why not?

Oh yeah. Testing's over...isn't it?

Ah, this is gonna feel weird. Getting back to the regular school schedule again...minus the zero period. But only for today.

I'm still really sort of disappoint because my digestive track is STILL not filled with delicious banana-nut muffins. Self, why must you be so forgetative and lose your muffins? I'm just not gonna tell anyone about this because they'll be like..."Dude. get over it. They're muffins." I mean, yes. It's not a pandemic crisis or whatever, but there were a lot of muffins in that bag. A lot of tasty, scrumptious muffins that would have satisfied my tummy in oh so many ways. Alright, enough about it.

For some reason, when I write blogs, I always have this feeling that I should at least type up enough so that I can see the scrollbar pop up. I dunno, it's really weird. Like...I don't like to make short posts, even though it just makes everyone annoyed (possibly, I'm not really sure) to just go through and read nothing but the uttermost random thoughts in my head. It might be enjoyable, who knows?

You know what? This rubber band is really irritating. It's much too big to just wear around my wrist, but if I wrap it around even once, it gets too tight and my circulation gets cut off. And then I get irritated. So I don't really know what to do with it. Sigh. For now, it goes into my pocket.

I kinda hope I go out somewhere tonight. Oh yeah, I am with Jim and possibly a few other people. I knew there was a reason I put $35 in my pocket. I just wish Leia could come with us again. I miss her being in play, even though she probably wouldn't have fun being a doll. Actually, Luis and I had a very interesting conversation backstage near the end of the play, and I must say that I totally agree on this.

L: Dude, the show's almost over.
S: Finally.
L: Now we just have to do it again two more times.
S: It'll all be over eventually. And then we do it again next year with different scenes and prop movements.
L: Yeah, hopefully it's gonna be a bit better than this.
S: Well, I just hope they pick a better play. Although I kinda fear that next year's cast just won't be as good as this year's. This year's is certainly less good than last year's.
L: I know, right? The number of willing people keeps decreasing.
S: It sucks. It just downright sucks. I bet you next year's cast, we'll only have half the people than this year.
L: That's because everyone makes fun of the play, and some are just too pussy to try out just for that reason.
S: Maybe. Or it could be Tro's lack of good play choice.
L: True that.


It kinda makes my heart frown a bit. Well, it would if I still had one. I lost that thing nearly 4 years ago. Or did I really just give it away? All I know is that it was NOT stolen. Whatsoever. But yeah. Some part inside of me is frowning, whatever it may be. Is it you, Pancreas? Do you weep for the lack of participation for the school musical? Yes, yes. I know. Everything will be over soon.






Man, I'm weird.

First night is over.

And I must say, it went very well. As in, I didn't get kicked off. I feel pretty good, so I think I'll last through the next two nights. The only bad things (to me) anyway were my muffins disappearing, though I believe that was my fault for possibly leaving them in my dad's car. Stupid stupid me. Also, I have to stop thinking that Scott will magically appear to come see the play. I'm not in it, in acting terms, so what's the use? Maybe it would make more sense if he went two years ago when Paul and Tom and Tim were still in highschool, but I'm the only one here that didn't graduate yet. So I have to keep telling myself, "Self. Just let it go. You know he's not here. Just leave while you can."

Halb, my wrist hurts pretty bad. Oh...and there's something that really pissed me off as my mom came to pick me up. So Sippy gave me some cookies because she's just awesome like that, and when I got in my mom's car, she was all "AND YOU DIDN'T GET ME ONE?! THAT'S NOT VERY CONSIDERATE, YOU KNOW." And later on, I told her about how she was being annoying and trying to call me JUST for the sake of telling me that she'll be home late. But she was trying to get a hold of me like it was extremely urgent...which it obviously wasn't. So SHE goes on telling ME that I should pick up my phone because she was worried that I got kidnapped or something.

Really? Come on now, you paranoid grump.

So yeah. I'm not in as good as a mood as I was before, it's just a jumble of things. And I'm not really that tired really...yet again. When am I ever? Besides 3rd period I guess, when I take in-between-errand naps or when I'm not reading that book I bought at that anime con. Le sigh.

Self, stop watching Les Mis before you go to bed.

Okay. So I had this kind of weird dream where everyone I knew was in Les Miserables. Here was the cast lineup, which actually REALLY kind of pissed me off in some ways:

Valjean: Paul Proulx (o.o?)
Javert: Hannah (I'm not exactly sure why this happened. Nor do I want to know.)
Fantine: Leia
Cosette (older): Becky...D:
Marius: A fish
Eponine: Me (of course)
the Thenardiers: Jim and Kasey
Enjolras: Travis
Gavroche: Will

Well, it didn't end up EXACTLY as the original play. A few parts were different, like when Cosette was supposed to go on the boat to America, she actually did. But somehow her spirit showed up with Fantine and Eponine in the end when Valjean started to die. Or just descend to Heaven, whatever the crap he did. And I'm really REALLY glad that there wasn't actually any kissing at all in my dream ever or I would've been so mad at Becky and she wouldn't even know why. And I wouldn't be able to tell her because why would I tell her something that wouldn't ever happen? The French Revolution is over. Meh, I actually probably wouldn't show my rage towards her anyway. :/

Actually, the part around A Little Fall Of Rain wasn't all that depressing. It's kind of the way I hoped I would die if I ever did in my young teenage life. So that part wasn't ALL that bad, 'till Eponine died.

And then I felt REALLY REALLY bad for Fantine because she was called a whore and she...ugh, her life was just absolutely horrid. And she still kept true to her faith, which made her one of my favorite characters in the actual play. I was happy to see her in the end as an angel.


Hm, this is weird. I've been staying on topic throughout my past two blogs...is my ADHD finally going away? It makes me wonder....

I just re-met an old love of mine.

And his name is Space Ghost.

OH. BABY. WORK THAT WAVING HAND OF YOURS. OWN THAT WAVE. WORK THAT...SPACE DO. YOU ARE SO FREAKING HOT.

Whoa, where is this French's commercial sound coming from? Here I was, typing typing typing and all of a sudden-- BAM. All I hear is "Kids! Come get your delicious French's mustarrrrd!~" or something like that. 'Twas weird.

So where was I? Oh yeah. So Space Ghost used to be on Cartoon Network back when it was actually awesome to watch and didn't--

OH MY GRANDMOTHER, WHERE ARE THESE COMMERCIALS COMING FROM?!

Sigh. DIDN'T have stupid shows like Johnny Test and Total Drama Thisshowreallysucks. Everyone misses the shows like Dexter's Lab and Powerpuff Girls and everything else by Craig McCracken. That dude had it goin' on.

Back to Space Ghost. As sexy as he is, he still knows who the REAL star was of that show.



No no, not Moltar. The one on the left. With the lobster on his head. Yeeeaaaaaahhhh buddy! Dude, Brak was crazy insane and you all should realize that. Okay, here's how I set down the lines:

Space Ghost: Sexy sexy superhero dude
Brak: Comic relief x43782658247G84392748392758LK3268073
Zorak: The grumpy angry sidekick that can play a good tune when needed.
Moltar: The tough evil nemesis that you KNOW secretly frolics in flowery meadows with unicorns.


Yeah yeah, I know what you guys who remember the REAL show are thinking. "What about his two REAL sidekick and that stupid monkey?" They're no fun and they should just be forgotten about. You know you love Brak and his Italian language lessons about eggplants in your moustache.

Brak: "La porta e fatta di zuppa. - The door is made of soup."

Zorak: "Sei di tek - Block head!
Treditore - TRAITOR!
Serpente - SNAKE!
Biscottino! - COOKIE!"





Until next time.~

Honey, I'm still free. Take a chance on me.

I officially now have three fruits with faces in my freezer. And that was three F's in one sentence. I feel made of win right now.

So the only way I could figure out how to celebrate James Doohan's birthday today was to speak in a Scottish accent for as long as I could. I'm still doing it, and it's gotten to the point where I'm actually thinking in an accent. So I think it's working. There's Scottish in my brain. Permanently. But I don't mind, of course.

i think I should've done some laundry today, but I was out with Ginmelia for a little while after school and I JUST came home, so now I don't really have time to do it because for some reason, it just makes me feel weird when my mom's home and I'm doing laundry at the same time. I probably wouldn't care as much if we had a basement and my washer/dryer was down there like in my dad's so maybe my dirty clothes could have privacy...but NO. They HAVE to be in the kitchen. Because that's how Audubon Park is like. Le sigh.

Oh my, I don't think I have any straight-up black pants. i hope my really dark blue sweatpants are okay because they're the darkest pants I have over my mom's house. Actually, I had a few thoughts of quitting stage crew, but I decided to stick with my pride and not give up. If I screw up, I'll get kicked off and at least I'll have survived one show. And so what if I leave? No cast party? Whatever, I don't feel like staying up until 2 in the morning, really. I'd rather chill with Ginny at Cabana's or something. Really.

Okay, I'm gonna stop whining about stage crew so much. It's not nice. I joined for a reason, and that reason was not to complain about how much it sucks. But do you know what doesn't suck? Triscuits. In fact, they are quite the contrary of suck. They are so un-suck that they are...they're just un-suck.

I wish clementines were in season right now. I would NOT mind nommin' on one of those delicious beauties at this very moment. Or this one. Or this one. Or maybe even by the time you're reading this. Because clementines are made of much win.

I wonder if I have any provolone cheese. That would go so great with these Triscuits. Oh...alas, I do not. All I have is mozzarella in cheese form. I mean...stick form. Wow, that was really dumb sounding. My speech is gradually getting worse and worse, and now it's spreading to my thoughts and typed words. Wow, self. Get to a doctor quick. A speech doctor or something, if there's even such thing.

Maybe that's one positive thing on why I'm quitting French. If I'm slowly losing my ability to speak English, how in the WORLD will I progress in speaking French? I mean, really now. Come on. Actually, I was thinking today about how Madame Parker ALWAYS whines about us (as in Leia and I) being all annoying and loud. Well, if we're OH SO loud and annoying, then why did you put us in the same class? Hmmm? Sil-- I mean, farcical old ninny.

Actually, it's almost been one full year since I haven't said the "S" word. G-Froo and I are very proud of ourselves.

One final note. For some reason, I'm kind of excited NOT to go to Baltimore. School trips just seem so lame to me nowadays. I might not even go to Disney World on the senior trip. I'll just get a vacation pass like Kyle Banecker did and chill in Aubudon for a week, maybe go visit people in different towns. REBEL AGAINST THE FORCE, MAAAAAAAN. >D

Wake up in the mornin' feelin' like Gary Busey.

As rad as he is, I think the only person that would want to wake up feeling like Gary Busey is Gary Busey. That crazy ol' chap...

Anyways. So I haven't got a chance to examine my thumb yet because I'm kind of afraid to take the band aid off. I also decided that maybe it's a good idea that maybe my mom doesn't have to know about my little mishap. Because then she'll just laugh at me and say "What did I tell you? Those blades are sharp but NOOOO. You don't listen to me. Joke's on you now, you can't cut apples right." And I'll just roll my eyes and plug Ingrid Michaelson into my ears.

She's really a good singer. And her songwriting skillz are made of much win. Much win, indeed. I've got one of her songs stuck in my head right now, it's called Die Alone. And no, it's not depressing in any way whatsoever. So I suggest you give that a listening-to. Probably one of my favorite songs by her. Mmmm, Ingrid. And actually, she sounds really good with Sara Barellis or however you spell her hast name.

And--OH OH OH OH OH GUESS WHAT GUYS. GUESS WHOSE BIRTHDAY IT IS TODAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! OH MAN, I'M SO EXCITED. HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMES DOOHAN. :D I've never been so excited at 7:21 AM ever. Or at least I think so. But it's Montgomery Scott's birthday~~~~ OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY. He would be...85 today? Ouch, I was off. Wait, no. I was wrong again. He woulda been 90. Holy crap. o.o Ahma steal some stuff off his Wikipage.

"At the beginning of the Second World War, Doohan joined the Royal Canadian Artillery. He was commissioned a lieutenant in the 13th Field Artillery Regiment of the 3rd Canadian Infantry Division. Doohan went to the United Kingdom in 1940 for training. His first combat was the invasion of Normandy at Juno Beach on D-Day. Shooting two snipers, Doohan led his men to higher ground through a field of anti-tank mines, where they took defensive positions for the night. Crossing between command posts at 11:30 that night, Doohan was hit by six rounds fired from a Bren gun by a nervous Canadian sentry:[3] four in his leg, one in the chest, and one through his right middle finger. The bullet to his chest was stopped by a silver cigarette case. His right middle finger had to be amputated, something he would conceal during his career as an actor. Despite his efforts, the injured hand can be seen in the Star Trek episodes "Trouble with Tribbles", "Tomorrow is Yesterday", "The Ultimate Computer" and "Catspaw", as well as in The Search for Spock when giving parts from the USS Excelsior to Doctor McCoy, and in The Final Frontier when Nyota Uhura brings him dinner on the bridge of the USS Enterprise-A.

Doohan was often quoted as saying, "Scotty is ninety-nine percent James Doohan and one percent accent."
Using his considerable vocal skills, Doohan devised the Vulcan and Klingon language dialogue heard in Star Trek: The Motion Picture. Later, professional linguists, particularly Marc Okrand, expanded Klingon into a fully constructed language with a working grammar.

On July 20, 2005, at 5:30 in the morning, Doohan died at his home in Redmond, Washington with his wife Wende and long-time friend and agent, Steve Stevens, at his side. His agent identified the cause as pneumonia and Alzheimer's disease. In what may be regarded as an ironic coincidence, Doohan died on the anniversary of the Apollo 11 lunar landing, arguably the greatest engineering achievement in human history."






You go, Scotty. You just go, you awesome son of an Irishman you. So I guess I have to wish you all a Happy Apollo 11 Landing Day too, huh? Have a good one, readers. Which I guess just must mean Leia. XD

Oh look, I have time for a night blog.

It is officially one hour away from James Doohan's birthday. Oh, how I wish he was alive to celebrate it. But he died at the age of eighty, although I forget the year. I'm sure it was in the mid-2000's, just like every other awesome dude from the 70's/60's. Except for Nimoy. If he was dead, my life would be SO down in the dumps. Or at least when Leia or Heather aren't around. I don't know, they seem to make my world brighter. Same with Zaby, even though I just met her. She's just....rad. Completely, utterly rad.

Speaking of Leia, thumbs up to me for my blog being mentioned. Bahaha, I never knew that I was that funny. Apparently in a random way.

I feel like I was supposed to talk about something in my next blog...OH YEAH! Witches and gypsies. Horrid creatures, they are. I mean, I didn't think gypsies were all that bad because the priest or archbishop or whoever he was in the Disney Hunchback movie was all like, "Oh, gypsy baby. I love him because God says he should be loved, even though he's terribly mutated." And I was like, hm...maybe gypsies aren't that bad. But of course I was wrong. Oh MAN, was I wrong. When I saw real gypsies, they had lazy eyes and they wouldn't stop TOUCHING me and they were like "CAN WE HAS YERR CHILDREN LOLOLOLORZ?" and I was fear. I was much fear. And now I believe that gypsies do witchcraft because they're not BORN psychic like Gracem, you know. They got their magic fortune-telling abilities in some non-humanitarian way. And what way is there that's non-humanitarian? Witchcraft. Maybe even Satanist sacrificing? Not on my watch!

...and I really TOTALLY hate gypsies because it was my idea...I so didn't get it from certain people I love and his friends singing angrily to scare off gypsies when he took a trip to Scotland. Nope, not me.

Now time to get the pessimism out of the way, because I'm feeling alright. But there are a few things that are frown. OW. MY THUMB. I cut it really badly. And now I can't text Jim and he'll get mad at me and stuff. And if Brian yells at me ONE MORE TIME for some things I DON'T NEED TO DO and if he STOPS MAKING EVERYONE STARE AT ME AWKWARDLY...ugh. stage crew. This year is scowl.

Anyways. So I'm sitting here with a bowl of apples (which I cut up with a knife that slipped and cut my thumb) and peanut butter. I'm glad that there's no blood in it, that would be really gross. Ugh, why I even mention that? I almost lost my appetite. "You know what's nutritious? A good, healthy fruit with a side of your own bodily fluids!" No. That's wrong.

Two more things that I'll mush together in one paragraph. First: I might have a chance to go over Heather's house if she'll teach me a song on piano. Oh boy oh boy oh boy!~ I've always wanted to see what her house looks like. I bet it's musical and glorious and filled with awesome! Second: So I've been flipping through random blogs on Blogspot and I've come to notice (not that I don't mind) most of the bloggers here are straight-up Christians. I see Bible verses everywhere and people thanking the Lord of how they saved their children. And I just shrugged. I'm not one to hold back what people say, so I won't. You go, Glen Cocos.







Happy birthday, James Doohan in....38 minutes. :D

Rushing rushing rushing. D:

Oh, look what you did, you delicious saltines you. You got crumbs all over my nice picnic blanket. (or as Mrs. Parker called it, my serviette. Little does she know, that serviettes are actually a nation of napkins called the Serviette Union. Oh, French teachers...)

I think I have ADHD. Every time I try to stay on topic, I...don't. I just straight-up don't.

And now I have the hiccups. AGAIN. Jeez, diaphragm. Could you be ANY MORE spastic? I mean, really. This is about the twentieth time I got the hiccups this week. And it's only Tuesday! I don't think I'm very healthy. My hair's falling out everywhere, I got hiccups ALL THE TIME, I have insomnia, and I have a growing nation of fruits with ink faces chilling in my freezer, which I might say creeps out my mom. So that's actually kind of a plus. Man, I'm so weird. I want an apple. And a REAL apple, not one of Gracem's fake basket apples she has to carry around on stage. They disappoint me SO MUCH because they look SO FLIPPING REAL. It's insane! I saw at least 3 people try to eat them and they ended up as disappoint (I love Leia. <3) Okay, saltines. I'm done nomming on you now. Speaking of nomming, I have three words for that: TRAVIS AND GRACE. They make me want to shoot up the school, for serious. I mean, Grace is either too busy with her mouth ALL OVER Travis's face, which he doesn't mind and that pisses me off, just for the sake of TOO MUCH PDA, or she's going around with some sort of endless period and wenching at everyone. She's just all like "OUT OF MY WAY. I HATE YOU ALL. I'M BECOMING A WENCH. WENCHY WENCHY WENCHY." And nobody likes her anymore. Honestly, I think she would be better without Travis. It's sort of my fault anyway. If I had never taken her over to Travis's house that one night, they might hardly even know each other. Just bluh. Bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh. I love the word "wench". I just kinda rolls off my tongue. Of course, I'll only use it when it's necessary, since its meaning (to me, anyway) is a haggy old woman or mean little brat that goes around with a thunderous, infectious storm cloud over her head. And yes, it can only be a female. Or Dan Noe. Flub. I still have no answer from a certain someone about coming to the play this weekend. Maybe he's just ignoring me. I really hope that's not the case, but I'm not gonna make a big deal about it if he doesn't show up. It's not my decision where he comes and goes. Le shrug. I have to go get ready for stage c-- Wait a second, I just realized I have a spare half hour because I don't have to be there until 5:30. Which is actually much too early in my case since the show doesn't start till 7-7:30. Even in rehearsals. So we just stand around and do nothing. Oh boy, oh boy. Okay, I have no more things to say. My head hurts.

So much to type and I only have a half hour.

RAAAAH. I hate time-consuming things. I hate trying to sneak online at 11 and having my mom wake up to see if I'm even home. I hate testing, I hate my school, I hate hating things because I'm not a hateful person. D:

Anyways. So I was trying to slip in a blog last night but I was interrupted by my mom wondering where I was. So this is what I was trying to say: "I don't WANT to miss him. I don't WANT to feel cold when he's not next to me. I don't WANT to panic when I don't get a text back because I shouldn't care that much if he doesn't come to see Guys & Dolls. But can I help it? No."

And that's all I got to until I had to get back up to my room. Stupid paranoid parents...but yeah. I was kinda under the weather with the case of the lonely. But could I let anyone really know about it? Of course not! Why would I go around moping about bringing everyone's feelings down with some hopeless romance that won't go anywhere? I have to stick to my one-second-thought-a-day routine and I think I will. I should. I hope I do.

CAT, GET OFF MY KEYBOARD.

Hrrf. So. Guys & Dolls. I hate the few days before opening night because this is the worst time when people mess up and we all feel like failures when it comes to the real show. It happened to me last year and the year before and now it's happening again. Or it did. Last night. But the yelling wasn't as bad as before because they were all like "You know what you did?" I nodded. The end.

I just HATED how we had to wait around for the CAST member to end their note-taking for us to go home. All we did was sit backstage and complain about this very thing. So what if we needed to know what time we had to come back here? We could have known tomorrow. I should have left early like before. Nobody noticed.

It's a hard life of a sheep.