Someone PLEASE get me out of here!

She agreed to sign, but that's because I had to convince her of how horrid my English class really is. If it wasn't for that, I wouldn't be going. It's the same EVERY year, twice a year. She gets all up in my face about how my grades aren't perfect, maybe failing. That's my fault. But she keeps trying to take the only thing that actually matters to me in this world. Seriously? Are you so fucking wrapped around my educational life that you don't even want to see me succeed in anything? She doesn't believe in me. Nobody believes in me. They always say, "Music is the hardest field to make a living in." So what if that's true? I've hardly had any chances to even try yet.

I'm just so mad beyond belief. I need him. I really need him. Not to talk to, really, but I just need his warmth. He's so warm that it was like he was spat out from a volcano or something. I need that really badly. Inside me just backtracked into the 2010 blizzard. It sucks. It really does, and I can't really let any of this show because I'm supposed to be happy. I feel like it's expected from me. I can't let things drag me down. Just like my dad said, "Never let people know you're feeling down."

So I guess I have to go to school, pretend everything's okay as I hack up another lung and maybe almost start to dry heave, smile through it, then get home and cry the whole time because both my throat and heart ache ever so badly. And then my voice will only get worse from there until it's just gone completely right when it's April 17th. And when I go, he won't be there. Why would he be? It's not required, and I don't mean all that much. I'm only just a childish little girl with nobody to believe in her and a false--

I'm being extremely overdramatic again. As much as the people on American Idol right now. Holy crap, lay off the vibrato. It's making your voice get off key, and frankly my dears, I frown upon you all. That includes you, America. How can you support this kind of crap? I mean, seriously. People vote more for American Idol than they do the President.

I'm having breathing problems again. Yup, that was another dry-heave moment. Time to go to sleep again.