I can't sleep. I just close my eyes, but I'm still awake. The only reason I close my eyes is because they hurt so bad. Maybe because within the past 6 hours I've just been bawling like a motherless child.
As much as I respect people caring about me and trying to give me sympathy, just telling me that they're sorry and things will get better does absolutely nothing for me. In fact, it might even make it worse. Nobody knew what this meant to me. Not making it is just like if my best friend was just killed, it's on that same level. Yes, I'm happy for the people that made it, but please. Don't give your sympathies to me unless you feel exactly the way I do.
There's only one person who could make me feel better, and I still have to wait. Maybe Hannah was right. Maybe I shouldn't sing for my career. Music is one of the hardest businesses out there and only the best can make it. And that's just not me. I can't keep going through always having my heart painfully ripped out after every failure. You just wouldn't understand. And for that, I'm sorry.
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