I woke up today.

And I saw THIS. MORE OF THIS FALLING DOWN. And man, I was so rage that I threw my pillow at my window. Please, Snow. Go away already, I'm so sick and tired of you that you make me want to SCREAM.

I already was having a bad dream that kind of mixed this book I'm reading in history with my whiny little problems. M'kay, so (SPOILERWARNINGSPOILERWARNING) in the book Fever 1793, there's a girl who lives in Philadelphia and now it's all abandoned because everyone has yellow fever. So she wakes up one day when two dudes are robbing her house. She panics, they grab her, and her REALLY old soldiery-type grandfather tries to save her by shooting them, but he misses and gets beat up and dies. But the dying part was really sad because he was all like "Matilda, I'm sorry I couldn't save you." and Matilda just starts flipping the frick out (because who wouldn't when someone you REALLY love is dying right in front of you?) And his last words were "I love you." So yeah. My dream was pretty much that except I was Matilda and guess the grandfather was eighteen, not like....eighty. And it wasn't really the grandfather....it was a fish.

Not an actual fish, some people understand and most people don't. I'm not gonna explain it here today.

So when I first woke up, I was really happy that it was all a dream, but it still made me think. Actually, I've been thinking a lot about how I would react if he ever died, and most of the times it was just me either curled up in a corner or trying to go on with everything I learned about and/or from him, because he told me that's what he would have wanted. Yes, we have talked about death before. It was a really long time ago, like a few years. But I told him that I just wouldn't know how to react and he said "Just don't cry too much." blah blah blah. Pretty much almost any person would say if they died, actually. Which makes sense.

Because who wants to be missed instead of remembered? I surely wouldn't.